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盘点:托福写作与四六级写作水准差异
新东方 2014-05-04 09:40 浏览2953次
  1.Original: We know that sometimes success ismeasured by how much money you earn。   Revised: It does not surprise us to discoverthat sometimes success is measured in terms of themoney you earn。   点评:know是非常初级的词汇,作文中出现I believethat…,I know that…这样的表达只能体现考生写作技巧的稚嫩,用It does not surprise us to discoverthat…替换We know that…并没有改变原句的含义,却使全句顿时增添了亮点。   2.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not cleanwater supply。   Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were notclean water supply。   托福写作点评:同上例一样,know这样的初级词汇应避免在作文中使用,It goes without sayingthat…是一个固定结构,意思是“……是不言而喻的”,常在作文中用来引经据典或表明一个尽人皆知的道理,类似的表达还有:   An old saying goes that…   Proverb goes that…   It is universally acknowledged that…   It is generally accepted that…   3.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively。   Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively。   点评:同know一样,think也应该尽量避免使用,修改后的句子中是用Another position says that…代替think提出另一种观点,也可以用hold a point of view,hold the opinion这样的短语替换。   4.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence。   Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence。   点评:give也属于英语中最初级、最基本的词汇,也是中国学生最喜欢在托福独立写作中应用的词。这个词只表示“给,给予”这个动作,不涉及动作的性质和状态,若表示增添信心,增强士气,比较地道的说法是用boost confidence/morale,如:The change of management has boosted morale throughoutthe company. 管理模式的改变使整个公司上下士气倍受鼓舞。   5.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years。   Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years。   点评:greatly是一般用语,表示程度高,“很,非常”,使用相当普遍而没有新意,在托福独立写作中应尽量避免使用这些通俗而又陈旧的词汇,应换用一些更加正式,更有说服力的词语,例如significantly表示达到了非常重要的或可观的程度,“重大的,可观的”,能够具体说明药品使用方面,增长幅度巨大。significantly还可以替换成considerably,tremendously等,同样具有不错的表达效果。
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